Glow

One of the most amazing things happened to me yesterday...

I was in Delhi, Kunga and I had arrived a couple of days before. And the eve of yesterday, we found out that His Holiness the Dalai Lama was going to be making an appearance in some garden in Delhi the next morning. We didn't have too many details, everyone is very cautious not to give too many details about his public appearance schedule, due to the obvious danger he runs. So we set out to get up at 5am in order to make it to the garden by 6. You don't wanna get there much later because there are just too many people who want to catch a glimpse of him. I've been sick for the last week and on the road, therefore haven't been getting much sleep, when I need it more than ever. So getting up at 5 was a struggle, but there was no way I was being lazy and staying in bed when His Holiness is here, especially in the circumstances that surround his cause and people right now. I wake up, then wake up Tashi (we are with him in Delhi, he lives here now), then Sonam and the other boys. Kunga won't wake up. Last night he said he was coming, but this morning theres just no getting him up. He's gonna miss the Dalai Lama and doesn't even seem to care. I can't believe it! I'm even pissed! I know I shouldn't, its none of my business really, live and let live, right? But I can't help it. I'm pissed. Anyways, We head out.

Now, there is something I just love about waking up real early, the day seems crisp and clear, and you have all this time ahead of you, it feels like you own it, it belongs to you, none of it is taken away. My mind feels sharper too (go figure). We find a rikshaw, who rips us off a little less than the others, and arrive at the garden. The place is beautiful. Its a huge piece of land covered in grass, with all kinds of trees and flowers. The grounds are very well kept and there is no trash to be seen laying around anywhere, an extremely rare sight in India, especially in such a big city. In the center of the garden is a kind of old fort, walls with gates resembling our beautiful old stone walls in Quebec City. Inside these walls are more beautiful Asian-like trees. It almost looks like a Japanese garden. We wait outside the walls in 2 single lines. We have at least an hour to wait before they let us in. Its beautiful to see, women and men alike carry bunches of flowers. Some little children have hand picked little bouquets themselves. Old men hold their small grandchildren proudly by the hand, having dressed them up in their finest silk dresses. There are so many colors, everyone is smiling. I'm standing near the beginning of the line, and at one point I look behind me, and the line has gotten so long that it just melts away in the horizon. What an impressive sight! As we wait, thunder and lightening start to swell up the sky. It starts to rain. Its quite cold at this time of the morning in Delhi, especially when you're wet. But of course, a little rain won't make us budge.

7am sharp. They let us in. By now the rain has stopped and theres a beautiful golden morning glow lighting the entire garden. There's some kind of setting in the center of the place, so we try to sit somewhat near to it. Immediately as I sit down, a ladybug lands on my knee. Right away I think of luck. She stays there for quite some time, and when Tashi notices it, he tells me, "you have good luck today". Cute! Of course, I don't believe in that stuff, but it is a nice way of bringing forth positive thoughts,so why not. I scope out the place with my eyes and try to figure where would be the best place to sit. I don't think I'm in it, I need to change places. Now, I know that as a foreigner, you sometimes have seating priveledges over the Tibetans; they figure that if you've come from so far away, you should get a better spot. Its not like this for all events, but here I think I can spot a carpeted area where there seems to only be foreigners, there are not that many, but they are all together. In the front are western Buddhist monks, and behind them a few normal civilians. I get up and tell the boys I will try to get closer, they can't come because security won't let them sit there. I make my way over to a security agent, I want to ask him if I need a special pass to sit there, I get close to him, and I haven't even opened my mouth yet when he says "please madam, you may sit over there" pointing to the exact place I wanted to go. I sit, and have a really good spot, really good. I'm on the edge and I can see where the Dalai Lama will sit, just 3 or 4 meters from me. Wow! I was never so close last times I saw him. Everyone sits on the ground, His Holiness included. In the front row where he will be seated, there are holy men of all kinds of religions. And this is what this event is, a huge universal morning prayer of all the major religions here, come together. Buddhists, Hindus, Swamis, Muslims, Jains, Sikhs, Christians etc. All of these men greet each other with love and respect, you can see they are all sincere, and they also have all come here together to give a special warm greeting of solidarity to the Dalai Lama. They want to let him know he has their unconditional respect, admiration, love and support. Its an incredibly powerful image to look at. All of a sudden, theres a bit of commotion and everyone rises to his feet; he is coming. The guards shout to everyone to sit down, and eventually we do. I can see him very well and even get some good photos. He comes to the front and sits down. He and the Hindu priest get up together and head over to a huge water bowl, where they scatter flower petals on the delicate suface of the morning water. There are journalists and cameras everywhere, but somehow it remains relatively quiet. Each priest and priestess in turn starts calling out the morning prayer of his or her faith, starting with the Tibetan Buddhists of course. Its very touching.

As the prayers are finished, the Dalai Lama gets up. I also get up and make my way over to the end of the path where he will be exiting, along with alot of other people. I am right on the edge of the path, and though this is not really my style, something makes me prostrate myself on the ground before his feet. As he approaches, theres chaos and too many people trying to get close to him, all his security making a closed circle around him, cameramen pushing to get a closeup shot... I can see all this from where I am, but I'm somewhat unaffected by it since I'm on my knees , crouched in a little "bonhomme". A cameragirl even trips over me and falls to the ground, where others follow, but I'm still there, and when His Holiness sees this, he seems to think I am about to get hurt on the ground, but its probably the safest place I can be. As he's next to me and this happens, he says "oh" and gestures with his hand as if to say, "please get up, its not worth getting hurt", and keeps walking. Security won't let anyone in further as he enters the gate. Now this all happened very fast, but to the left of the gate, was another entrance where none seemed to be going. I didn't think at all, I just acted on an instinct and went in. Once inside, I was standing next to a chair and table. His Holiness then shows up in front of me with still a few chaotic people following and all his security, he's headed towards the chair and table where I'm standing. He sits, right next to me! and starts writing in a book. Somehow it takes a moment before security circles in front of me, they started by circling behind me. I take a bunch of pictures while I'm in there. Now when I'm outside the security circle, this one Tibetan girl is making a scene to get closer to him, this of course is probably the best way to get farther from him, so I try to stay away from her, which is easy, because at this point there are not that many people. Only a few hectic cameramen, some government officials, security, that girl and me. So I play it cool, don't push security, and smile at them, letting them know I am just very glad to have the opportunity to see him. They can detect my vibe and are actually pretty cool with me. This one Indian man standing behind me, who I guess works for his security kind of warns me, "madam, please back away". "Please" I tell him, " I just want to see him, I'm not pushing I just want to see" At this point I'm overwhelmed with emotion, my eyes are filled with tears and my smile is beaming. He also catches my vibe and looks at me as if saying " ok, its cool, go ahead". His Holiness at this point has gotten up and is walking out. His security agents form a kind of fence on either side of him by holding hands. I follow for a few meters thinking that if only he got a glimpse of the love flowing out of me at that moment, he might acknowledge my presence, and I may be able to salute him. I felt myself so much. I knew I could make my presence be felt. I just knew it. You know when you look at someone so deeply that they can feel your gaze? They can't help but look at you then, that's the mysterious power of a look. I don't know what causes that, but its a veritable phenomenon which we've all experienced. I just looked at him and loved him so much. How could he not feel it? It was impossible that he not feel it. Then, it happened. He caught a glimpse of me real fast and must've noticed the tears streaming down my face as well as the lovingest smile I'd ever given, I couldn't control it, he had this effect on me. He then stopped walking, turned his body and gaze towards me, looked me dead in the eye, put his hands together, and bowed his head at me. I bowed back as my hands were already together ( I was holding a white Kada under my thumbs) and we saluted each other, our foreheads almost touching. Everything stopped, I was flabergasted. I felt like I was in a fog. Except for that small clear space between he and I, everything else around me was blurry and sounded numb. I was happy. I was ready to go as I had gotten my fair share. As I turned on my heels to make my way over to Tashi and the others to tell them what had happened, the Indian security man who had been behind me earlier saw this all go down. He says to me, smiling, kind of matter-of-factly "So, how does it feel?" All I could answer him with was my happiest glowing smile, it said everything. I felt high. literally. I felt like my chest was touching the clouds...